The Horrible Blob Of Doom!
by Invader Johnny
Summary: Gaz notices something coming out of Zim's house, she isn't the least bit curious, that is until she finds out what really is coming out of there, ZAGR


_**Title: The Horrible Blob Of Doom!**_

 _ **Writer: Invader Johnny.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: We all know that Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, I don't own squat!**_

 _ **Plot: Gaz notices something coming out of Zim's house, she isn't the least bit curious, that is until she finds out what really is coming out of there, ZAGR.**_

 _ **Author Notes: This idea came to me after a failed attempt at cooking a pizza!**_

 _ **So read, review and enjoy!**_

* * *

Gaz was in her living room, playing her "Game Slave Advance" yet again, it was a quiet Saturday morning, her father was working on his downtown lab while her older Brother Dib was on a wild goose chase, he probably got mauled by Bigfoot or Chupacabra or whatever, she honestly didn't care as long as she had the house to herself with no interruptions.

Then her phone began to ring.

"I just _had_ to jinx it didn't I?" She grunted in annoyance "Stupid universe with its stupid karma"

The purple headed girl knew instantly who it was, after all she only had one contact on her list, so she grabbed her cell from her pocket "What is it _now_ Zim?" Gaz asked, not once removing her sight from the game's screen.

 _ **"AHHHH! GAZ-BEAST!"**_ The Irken bellowed out _ **"YOUR AMAZING BOYFRIEND IS BEING EATEN ALIVE!"**_

"First of all, what have I told you about yelling you moron?" Gaz growled dangerous, her index finger moving her ear as she tried to make the ringing stop "Second of all, this happens twice, maybe three times a week. Gimme something **_new_** Zim, I told you before to stop experimenting with the animals you keep stealing from the Zoo! You would think that after the Bear incident, you would learn to _not_ try to fuse it with an elephant, just _**what**_ where you thinking?!"

"I'm not being eaten by some of your planet's inferior creatures!" He replied back, it's so much worse! **_IT BURNS!_** "

She sighed "Just what did you do this time?"

 _ **"IT BURNS!"**_

"Yeah I heard you the first time!"

"I'm going blind!"

"Don't you have weapons in that backpack of yours to oh I dunno... _**Kill**_ whatever is causing you grief?"

"Oh how I wish for one of those right now"

 _ **"MY PAK WON'T OPEN!"**_ Zim yelled panicking "It's covered in... Cheese!"

 _"Cheese?... What the fuck?"_

 ** _"COME TO ME GAZ-LOVE!"_** He pleaded "Time is running out!"

Then the line went dead.

The human girl stared at her phone, a deep scowl on her face. "This is what I get for dating an alien who is such a drama queen" She silently saved her game "Guess I better go and see what he did to almost get himself killed this time... _Or_ I can finish this level, Zim is pretty much unkillable, at most he'll just have a few broken bones when I get to his base"

So Gaz, took a drink from her soda and continued to slay some more vampire pigs.

* * *

After the scary Goth finished playing seven more levels of her game, she finally got up the couch.

"I swear, if this is just another loose animal on his base, He's going to wish he actually _got_ beaten into a pulp otherwise I'll so something _much_ worse" Gaz swore "Ruining my Saturday just because his life is in danger, I mean how selfish can he be! Oh great now I'm talking to myself, Dib when you get home, I _will_ destroy you!"

As Gaz walked in the direction of the Irken's base, she started to notice that something didn't quite seemed right _"What's that smell?_ She thought _"It's sort of familiar"_

The pale girl made a turn to Zim's cult de sac, following the scent the closer she got to the green house.

"What in the blue fuck?!" Gaz spoke baffled, the smell got stronger, which wasn't that surprising since she saw, a huge chunk of blob coming of the alien's base, she also noticed some neighbourhood kids, playing on the mass, making "snowmen", having fights, the works, almost as if Christmas had come early this year, a big disgusting, smelly Christmas that is, minus the homicidal Santa mind you.

On closer inspection, Gaz noticed the blob thing was actually dough, mixed with some tomato sauce and a hell of a lit of cheese, she got a but of the ingredients in her hands, smelled the blob thing that seemed to be _moving_.

"Oh, what the hell" She shrugged and got some of it in her mouth, an agonising scream then come from the dough, then coughing and finally death.

"I had better" Gaz said uncaringly, but that didn't stop her from getting another big chunk of whatever this thing was and began to eat it as she resumed her way to Zim's house.

On her way a poor unsuspecting soul had the galls to throw her a "food-ball" to her face, the result? Let's just say the kid will need done serious therapy and surgery to remove some glasses out of his spleen.

Once Gaz arrived at her destination, she unsurprisingly saw the source of the blobish product sulking on top of a fire hydrant.

"My base, my beautiful base!"

Gir was nearby making "snow angels" on the ground.

" _YAY_! I'm living the dream!" The Robot yelled at the top of his artificial lungs "I wanna marry my cupcake here!"

Gaz rolled her eyes, "Of course you _had_ to be the cause of all if this"

"GAZZY!" Gir greeted the human enthusiastically "Want to marry me to my cupcake then eat the floor until we puke?!"

The oblivious android got his answer when his master's girlfriend sent him flying ** _"I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE! HI HOUSE!"_**

She grunted exasperatedly, cleaning her hands after throwing the annoying robot away, she then turned to meet her disguised boyfriend "So, mind explaining why you decided to give free food to everyone within ten miles?"

"Not exactly something I planned Gaz-Beat" Zim growled "My attempts weren't to give your pathetic species any source of enjoyment..."

"Answer me this Zim. What is this thing?"

"Pizza"

"Excuse me?"

"It was meant to be pizza for you, love-pig!"

"Where you cooking again?"

 ** _"YES I WAS COOKING AGAIN!"_**

"Zim, I told you before, you suck at cooking, you have advanced equipment in your base, use it! I'm tired of coming here just to see you fail miserably at trying to be romantic, I hate romance and I know you do to"

He shuddered "I hate the part with the beans, the cheese burned so much, the tomato sauce got deep inside my ass, the blob came alive and tried to eat me, I had to fight it but it just kept regenerating, until Gir ate his brain!"

"How did that happen?"

"Trust me, you _don't_ want to know" The Irken said "It was the most revolting thing I ever seen! And I seen so many horrible things in the universe!"

"Fine, whatever" Gaz shrugs "Not that I _care_ , but how did you managed to make such a mess?"

"I followed the instructions _Gir_ was dictating to me and..."

"Hold it" She said the girl puts her right arm in a stop motion, "I can fill in the blanks from here..."

"So, my attempt to make dinner for you was in vain?"

"I would say that exactly" Gaz admitted "Even if this thing isn't exactly pizza, it's still... Edible, plus the screaming it produces is a nice touch"

Zim smirked _**"VICTORY FOR ZIM!"**_

"But next time, if you want to please me, you should order pizza" Gaz said while rolling her eyes at her boyfriend's anticts.

"You can order pizza?!" He yelled out angrily.

"Uh... Yeah!" She replied "Geez Zim, you been on this planet for how long?"

"But I... But.., my base!... The Phone... Everything could have been avoided!"

Suddenly a car went by with the Bloaty's Pizza Hog logo on it, and a geeky teenager with a pizza box coming out of it.

"Delivery for Mr... Gir?"

"That's me!"

"Oh come on! _**GIR**_!"

The End.

* * *

 ** _So, what did you guys think of this little insane story?_**

 ** _I think that if Zim and Gaz dated, this could very well happen, no?_**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


End file.
